expectations

The greatest weight on Earth

For the past few days, i am feeling crumpled under a sheer force.
So heavy that sometimes it makes me choke. I feel as the full weight of the force is

concentrated precisely at my heart and there is no escaping it.

After some (not-so) logical analysis, i found out that the weight was nothing but my own

expectations. makes perfect sense.
who else would be bothered to cause me so much pain? i firmly believe that you are born

alone and live alone only..

nothing can infiltrate you except you yourself.. even pregnancy is temporary.. you take out final product after the processing is over.. so everytime its basically what you make of yourself..

example time: if some body says something good, you start thinking good about yourself that

is what matters.. not what somebody else said..

so getting back to the main topic... expectations.. funny thing.. and even funnier how a the

hindu gita text can be right even after abt 5000 yrs of existence...

"do you work.. donot have any expectations.." i guess i am a step closer to understand the

thing..

if we have expectation, we rarely take the bad consequences into consideration.. but a

thing can go wrong inspite of our hard work due to a number of factors.

you then have 2 options:

either calculate precisely which all factors will lead to the result, that way you will be

able to predict almost everything on earth.. but should you miss any of them.. your results

may vary drastically..

or you can choose not to evaluate any of the factors that will lead to result of your

karma.. just let it be so... when the time comes you shall see it for yourself..

now time for something out of my own experience still would like to make it as vague as possible.
if you truely desire a girl, but for some reasons you dont have her in your life as a

girlfriend, then what to do?

first of all we need to understand the mechanism of expectations.. you dont instantly fall

in deep (shit) love.. any communication body language or verbal is misinterpreted for a long

time for as per your convinience.. untill the time that it doesnt remain so convinient...
a simple smile seems inviting to delve deeper in relationship (shit).. finally when you

realise the truth, and come terms to it.. you already have piled on a lot of expectation

(shit) on yourself.. and now for once you can say that you are in deep shit..

as in my case i have taken each kind gesture to be an invitation.. and slowly opening my

eyes, i realise there is yellow all around.